


Glitterpocalypse

by ladydragon76



Series: AU Yeah AUgust (in December) [27]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Crack, Friendship, LD's Fanfic Jeopardy!, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 21:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: Summary:When your bff from the internet is actually the enemy.





	Glitterpocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> **'Verse:** G1  
>  **Series:** AU Yeah August  
>  **Rating:** PG  
>  **Characters:** Prowl/Skywarp  
>  **Warnings:** cracky,  
>  **Notes:** I'm sure you all remember AU Yeah AUgust, yeah? Well, I was crocheting and didn't have time to try to write like I wanted, so I decided to move it to December. I have chosen some other prompts to replace some on the original list so as to avoid the ones I'm not into, but I do hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> Thanks to threadacon for inspiring the title! And thanks to Flyby for Skywarp's handle. This fic was done during my Write & Jabber 12-20-18. and it really might've been the most fun i've ever had writing a fic. LOL!
> 
> 27\. Internet

**LuvsDonuts:** Good evening.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** hi luv!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** hope your day was better than mine  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** my shift was a killer

**LuvsDonuts:** It was a difficult day for me as well.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** well that sucks  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** funny thing tho  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** you see that vid going around about the glitter bomb?  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i need to do that to my roommate  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** he'll freak

**LuvsDonuts:** No, I have not seen it. One moment. Youtube, I assume?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** yeah  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i can grab you a link

**LuvsDonuts:** No need, but thank you. I have it here now.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** *bounces*  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** liveblog as you watch!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** heheheheh!!!

**LuvsDonuts:** I will never understand why people would victimize another in such a way.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** wut?  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** pranks are funny?

**LuvsDonuts:** I was referring to the thieves themselves. It's just so rude.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** rude!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** hahaha!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but yeah i guess it's messed up tho huh?  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** pranks are more fun

**LuvsDonuts:** Oh dear. Fart spray? They deserve it, I suppose, but I wouldn't want that in my interior.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** right??! lol!

**LuvsDonuts:** That is indeed a lot of glitter.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** i'm gonna do it!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** no fart spray cuz ew gross  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but i'm gonna get so much glitter  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** my roomies are gonna be washing it off for weeks!

~ | ~

**LuvsDonuts:** May I vent a moment?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** so long as i can when you're done  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** *chinhands*  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** vent away buddy!

**LuvsDonuts:** My supervisor is a wonderful person, but there are times his determination to do 'the right thing' and 'take the higher road' drive me past frustration.  
 **LuvsDonuts:** Yes, of course I believe we have an obligation to be our best. To be role models and lead by example. However, when *one* "bad" action would end all the hardship we face, or at the very least cut those hardships to a fraction of what they currently are, I do not see the reason in *not* taking that action.  
 **LuvsDonuts:** It is not as if we have not had to sacrifice the moral high ground before. By choosing to cling to it now, we only prolong the suffering of billions.  
 **LuvsDonuts:** I cannot convince him to act. My fellow advisors cannot either. He is being unreasonably stubborn about this. I have no solution for it. There is no middle ground to be found. I just-  
 **LuvsDonuts:** I am so unbearably frustrated by him right now. He had the opportunity to end this all last night, and did not.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** that sucks bud

**LuvsDonuts:** It does indeed. Thank you for listening to me. What did you want to say?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** well i think you might be lucky with sir tight ass the noble  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i mean that sucks that he's just letting shit stay bad when he could fix it  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but like  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** my boss is fuckin nuts  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i'm loyal  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** don't get me wrong  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but he's.....  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** what the word when someone just won't freakin STOP chasing the same thing?

**LuvsDonuts:** Obsessed?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** YES!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** obsessed!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** like i got this coworker who's always up in the boss's face and i keep waiting for him to get fired  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but boss won't  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** cuz the coworker's actually good at his job even tho they fight  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** and they fight all the time about how obsessed boss is with this  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** uh... competitor!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** that's the word  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** like he's GOT to do things just to make this other dude mad instead of taking care of our company

**LuvsDonuts:** That sounds very detrimental.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol i had to google that  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but yeah  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** like so detrimental  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** and like i'm one of the one's on the bosses side  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but even i can't deny that stuff's just getting worse and worse anymore  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** one day our competitor's gonna do something for real about it all  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** then we're ALL gonna suffer.

**LuvsDonuts:** We both need better jobs.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** right??!

~ | ~

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** so i'm in soooooooo much trouble right now  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol

**LuvsDonuts:** How so?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** hehehehe!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** ok, remember the glitter bomb thing?

**LuvsDonuts:** I do.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** yeah well i got my roommates  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** both of them!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** hahahhahahahhhahahahahahhah!!!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** they're SO MAD!!!!!!!!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** heheheheh!!!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i can't stop laughing  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i had to run just so they wouldn't beat on me!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol

**LuvsDonuts:** The mess of glitter won't bother you as well?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** why would it?

**LuvsDonuts:** It does have a habit of getting everywhere.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** but its pretty and sparkles! 8D

**LuvsDonuts:** :) That is also true.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** always makes me laugh when you use emojis

**LuvsDonuts:** Why?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** buddy you type in perfect caps and punctuation  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** it's cute  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** it's just so you  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** so when an emoji comes out its liek i know for sure i made you smile for real

**LuvsDonuts:** Are you not laughing or smiling when you type that you are?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** well yeah  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** it's not like a bad thing that you're all formal and stuff  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** it's cute ^_^

**LuvsDonuts:** Well, thank you.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** i wish we could meet someday

**LuvsDonuts:** As do I. We can continue to hope until then.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** yeah :D  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** oh shit  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i just got a call  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** gotta go to work

**LuvsDonuts:** I understand. I hope you have a good shift.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** me too  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** bye luv!

~ | ~

" _What the frag?_ " Ratchet asked over the comms.

" _I'm not the only seeing this, am I?_ " Bluestreak asked, and Prowl refocused his attention from Optimus and Megatron, to the area where Bluestreak was.

"What is it you see?" Prowl asked over the main channel, still looking around for anything more unusual than they were used to.

Sideswipe's voice came back, gleeful in tone. " _Looks like Screamer and Thundercracker came here straight from a Kesha concert._ "

Prowl frowned and searched the internet for 'Kesha concert'. Then blinked. "They are covered in glitter?"

" _Oh, Primus, Prowler, I'm so fraggin' proud of ya right now!_ " Jazz laughed.

"Google exists, Jazz," Prowl replied, but his mind was in turmoil. "Ironhide, Motormaster is making his way toward you, and I have no one in position to stop him."

" _I got the brat_ ," Ironhide said.

" _Jet judo!_ " Sideswipe crowed, and Prowl heard the unmistakable sounds of the jetpack firing.

" _No! Fraggit, Sides! We'll never get the glitter off us!_ " Sunstreaker shouted, though when the time came and Sideswipe released him, Sunstreaker didn't hesitate to flatten himself to top of Thundercracker's alt-mode.

Prowl watched in wonder as the late afternoon sunlight caught and made Thundercracker and Starscream shimmer. It was definitely more sparkling than their usual finish.

_VOP_

_Damn,_ , Prowl thought and threw himself sideways before Skywarp could grab him. "Skywarp, I have a question for you."

"Ain't here to talk Autofreak," Skywarp said and aimed his arm-mounted blasters at Prowl.

"Glitter bomb?" Prowl asked regardless, which made Skywarp glance toward his trinemates and snicker.

"You saw, huh?"

Prowl narrowed his optics and wondered how to handle this. He could use it- and oh there was a good infiltration idea, if he was right. He could simply cut contact with x_NoSquirrels_x, but if he was wrong, he would be losing a friend he genuinely adored, who he could vent his frustrations to, who listened, made him smile and laugh...

"Yes. So, how's that shift you were called in for going so far?" Prowl asked.

"Shift?" Skywarp frowned and tilted his head, the weapon lowering.

"You know, you never did tell me why you chose 'no squirrels' as a handle?" Prowl asked and smiled when Skywarp merely blinked at him. Had he been wrong? Even if so, at least he had his enemy confused. Prowl pinged Jazz for backup.

"Uh..." Skywarp glanced around his feet. "Squirrels are evil and scary. Wait! How do _you_ know-?!"

" _Don't hurt him, just scare him off,_ " Prowl said to Jazz over the comms alone. Aloud, he said, "Donuts are wonderful."

Skywarp's optics brightened and his mouth dropped open, but Jazz chose that moment to pounce. There was a brief scuffle before Jazz let go and Skywarp flew off.

"Debrief at nine?" Jazz asked, one side of his visor a bit brighter than the other.

Prowl nodded, knowing he had to report this and go over all conversations with Skywarp with his head of Spec Ops. He was not looking forward to that, nor the loss of a person he thought of as a friend.

~ | ~

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** you're fragging kidding me!

**LuvsDonuts:** I'm afraid not.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** fuck  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** but i LIKE you!!

**LuvsDonuts:** I like you as well.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** do we really have to stop being friends?

**LuvsDonuts:** I would rather not.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** fuck  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** fuck fuck fuck fraggity fuck slag damn shit fuck  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**LuvsDonuts:** Skywarp. Please.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** what?  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** like swearing aint right in this situation?  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** come on!

**LuvsDonuts:** No, I suppose swearing is well suited. I really do not wish to lose you, however, now that I know who you are, I am not sure we should continue contact. You are loyal to Megatron, and I am loyal to Optimus. We could accidentally tell one another something that could be used to harm our respective people. I would not be able to live with that guilt.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** 8(  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i'm gonna go hide in the storage closet and cry for a week  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** this sucks

**LuvsDonuts:** I am sorry.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** wait  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** you didn't know i was me before?

**LuvsDonuts:** No, I did not. Not until I saw the glitter and put it all together.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** oh  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** well that's better than you knowing and using me

**LuvsDonuts:** I could not do that to you, which is why I outed myself there at the battle.  
 **LuvsDonuts:** Perhaps we could figure something out?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** liek what?

**LuvsDonuts:** What if we did conspire together? But for peace?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** then we could be friends!

**LuvsDonuts:** I must go to a meeting, but, S, I really do value your friendship. Only Jazz knows so far, so I will speak with him and get back to you on how we could conspire for peace- with no loss of life.

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** ok  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i gotta go anyhow  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** screamers all mad about the glitter still so i'm gonna put more in his cleanser while he's out.

**LuvsDonuts:** LOL!

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** OMG!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** bitlet's first LOL!!!  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** i'm fraggin honored!

**LuvsDonuts:** Good night, S. I'll speak with you tomorrow?

**x_NoSquirrels_x:** yeah  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** lol  
 **x_NoSquirrels_x:** night!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Want to learn more [About Me](https://ladydragon76.dreamwidth.org/334490.html)?


End file.
